... or maybe not
06 November 2024
23 September 2024
Of Poets, Poetry, Politicians, and Parliament Hill
Yet another gloriously sunny September weekend, I spent most of it stacking firewood in preparation for winter. The high point came early Saturday morning when I found myself in Ottawa's ByWard Market with an hour to kill. It was so early, that Patrick McGahern Books hadn't yet opened, and so I made for Parliament Hill to see how the restoration of the Centre Block is progressing.
Quite well, it seems.
Despite the early hour, there were swarms of tourists from the United Kingdom and China... but then it was noon in London and early evening in Shanghai.
It had been nearly twenty-four years since I'd walked around the building. The last time was on Sunday, October 1, 2000, when Pierre Elliott Trudeau's body lay in state in the Centre Block's Hall of Honour. I was there with my birth parents, both staunch Liberals. Here I am waiting in the eight-hour line with my birth mother; I have no idea as to the identity of the man in the turquoise cap:
Enough nostalgia.
See it?
It's not a good photo, but I remind that Saturday was gloriously sunny. I took a better snap of this plaque, which I'd never seen before:
cliquez pour agandir |
I knew just where to find it.
The deaths of Henry Harper and Bessie Blair shook the national's capital, in part because the young lady's father, Andrew George Blair, was the Minister of Railways and Canals. The statue was funded by public donations. Inspiration was drawn from a reproduction of George Frederic Watts' 'Sir Galahad,' which Harper had placed above his desk.
To this Canadian, 'A Canadian Galahad,' a statue inspired by a painting, is forever linked with verse. Within days of the tragedy, William Wilfred Campbell, who had a mutual friend in King, wrote a tribute to the doomed hero. This version comes from The Collected Poems of Wilfred Campbell (Toronto: Briggs, 1905):
We crown the splendours of immortal peace,And laud the heroes of ensanguined war.Rearing in granite memory of menWho build the future, recreate the past.Or animate the present dull world's pulseWith loftier riches of the human mind.But his was greatness not of common mould,And yet so human in its simple worth,That any spirit plodding its slow roundOf social commonplace and daily moil.Might blunder on such greatness, did he holdIn him the kernel sap from which it sprung.Men in rare hours great actions may perform,Heroic, lofty, whereof earth will ring,A world onlooking, and the spirit strungTo high achievement, at the cannon's mouth.Or where fierce ranks of maddened men go down.But this was godlier. In the common roundOf life's slow action, stumbling on the brinkOf sudden opportunity, he choseThe only noble, godlike, splendid way.And made his exit, as earth's great have gone,By that vast doorway looking out on death.No poet this of winged, immortal pen;No hero of an hundred victories;Nor iron moulder of unwieldy states.Grave counsellor of parliaments, gold-tongued.Standing in shadow of a centuried fame.Drinking the splendid plaudits of a world.But simple, unrecorded in his days,Unostentatious, like the average manOf average duty, walked the common earth.And when fate flung her challenge in his face.Took all his spirit in his blinded eyes.And showed in action why God made the world.He passes as all pass, both small and great,Oblivion-clouded, to the common goal; —And all unmindful moves the dull world round.With baser dreams of this material day.And all that makes man petty, the slow paceOf small accomplishment that mocks the soul.But he hath taught us by this splendid deed,That under all the brutish mask of life
And dulled intention of ignoble ends,
Man's soul is not all sordid; that behindThis tragedy of ills and hates that seem,There lurks a godlike impulse in the world,And men are greater than they idly dream.
04 March 2024
Too Soon?
Mark Breslin, ed.
Toronto: Ballantine, 1991
113 pages
The Mulroney government spanned the better part of my twenties. He hung onto power, forcing the game into overtime, only to leave the political arena when it became clear he could not score a third victory. Mulroney all but destroyed the Progressive Conservative Party, leaving Kim Campbell and Peter Mackay to ensure its end.
Nostalgia.
As I say, I was no admirer, though I've come to recognize the man's achievements. He somehow managed to convince Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher that Apartheid was wrong, which was no small feat. He wasn't quite as successful in pushing Reagan on acid rain, but he did get a treaty through with the first President Bush. Mulroney really was our "greenest prime minister," a title included in most of the obituaries.
That he holds it still, three decades after he stepped down as PM, is a sad commentary on his successors.
Son of a Meech Andy Donato Toronto: Key Porter, 1990 |
And so, a warning to the reader, I will be quoting from this book.
After each show, members of the audience would approach me with jokes about [Mulroney] – vicious, mean, brutal – my kind of jokes. They weren't, as my literary sensei Jack Kapiica observed, the usual anti-government barbs, but personal ad hominem attacks on the man's most private self. These jokes stepped over the line of good taste, and I got interested.
Canadians no longer believe in the theory of trickle-down economics.Mulroney's trickled down on them long enough.Not that the prime minister is crooked...But last week he swallowed a nail and it came out a corkscrew.
The collection got bigger, so I turned to Martin Waxman for help. He researched volumes of comedy material of all eras for jokes about despots and cruel or incompetent leaders. Sad to say, they fit.
Did you hear the new Mulroney stamp has had to be recalled?People kept spitting on the wrong side.What's the difference between the prime minister and yogurt?
Yogurt has culture.
Why would Mulroney never be eaten by cannibals?
Because he's too hard to swallow.What do you call an Irish Canadian with half a brain?Mr. Prime Minister.
What's the only mediocre product yuppies will buy?Brian Mulroney.
What's the difference between Howdy Doody and Prime Minister Mulroney?You can't see Mulroney's strings.
How do you make Brian Mulroney laugh on Monday?Tell him a joke on Friday.Looking to bolster his stodgy image, the P.M. spent the night at a rock club. And not wanting to be perceived as a square, he even snorted Sweet and Low.He thought it was Diet Coke.
What's the difference between Rock Hudson and Brian Mulroney?Brian's aides have not killed him yet.
Over dessert at 24 Sussex, Mulroney whispered to Mila, "Drinking makes you absolutely gorgeous.""I don't drink," Mila replied."Yes, but I do."
Was Brian Mulroney Canada's worst prime minister as Breslin claims? Of course not. The most recent Maclean's ranking had him in eighth spot, just below Jean Chrétien, which seemed about right. But then I remembered that Mulroney accepted bribes and was a tax cheat. How about we place him in the very middle, just below eleventh place John Diefenbaker, but above Alexander Mackenzie.
Seems more than fair.
Is Breslin's Canada's worst joke book?
Martin Brian Mulroney 20 March 1939, Baie Comeau, Quebec 29 February 2024, Palm Beech, Florida RIP |
Object and Access: A slim mass market paperback, I found my copy two years ago in a Kemptville, Ontario thrift store. Price: $1.00.
Son of a Meech is held by seven Canadian libraries, the most surprising being the Legislative Library of British Columbia. St Francis-Xavier University, Brian Mulroney's alma mater, does not have a copy.
Pierre Elliot Trudeau, Ladies Man
Sex and the Trudeaus: The Bachelor Canada
Margaret's Marriage in Mass Market
The Ugliest Canadian Book Cover of All Time
E.T. Cash In
06 July 2023
Lac-Mégantic: Ten Years
Every major horror of history was committed in the name of an altruistic motive. Has any act of selfishness ever equaled the carnage perpetrated by disciples of altruism? —Ayn RandWho is John Galt? The answer is Ed Berkhardt, Chairman of the Montreal, Maine and Atlantic Railway. Look to the Objectivists of the Atlas Society for confirmation. Hell, look to Berkhardt himself, a man who blamed government employees for the derailment in Lac-Mégantic: “I think the fire department played a role in this. That’s incontrovertible.”Ed Berkhardt believes his thoughts are incontrovertible… which is why we haven’t heard him apologize for laying false blame.I don’t think I’m being a shit in drawing attention to a fifteen-year-old article published in the Atlas Society’s magazine; after all, they’ve still got the thing up on their website. ‘A Better Way to Run a Railroad’ by Frank W. Bryan writes of Berkhardt and the group of unnamed investors “who mortgaged their homes, withdrew personal savings, and arranged additional financing” in building the multinational corporation known as Rail World Inc.Okay, so they didn’t build it exactly – pretty much everything, including the track, the rolling stock, and the real estate, was sold cheap by governments hell-bent on privatization – but they did have some late nights.Bryan gives a good account of Berkhardt’s story, including his struggles to slash workers by introducing that contradiction in terms known as the “one-man train crew."“Inevitably, the success of Wisconsin Central attracted the animosity of those who resent achievement”, writes Bryan. He’s referring here to those who dared comment on the 1996 derailment of sixteen cars carrying liquefied petroleum gas, propane and sodium hydroxide. “One car exploded, but the heroic efforts of the train’s conductor minimized the extent of the fire”, writes Bryan. The conductor, of course, being the very same position that Berkhardt had been working to eliminate.Avert your eyes, look instead toward government bureaucrats who evacuated 1700, and “in a power play impervious to any rational risk/benefit analysis, refused to allow the railroad to take steps that would have minimized the disruption to the public.” Yes, look at the “rational risk/benefit analysis” – there was a better than fifty percent chance that those people would’ve been fine if they’d stayed put. And, hey, that fire burnt for only fourteen days.“In any case, all of this has a price”, writes Bryan. He’s referring here to the detrimental effect that the derailment had on fourth-quarter earnings.Yes, all of this has a price. Wisconsin Central was sold to CN in 2001. As a retired guy who liked to play with model trains, convinced of the commercial viability of his plastic 1:48-scale corporation, Bryan knew value. He wrote only one other piece for the Atlas Society. It has just as much to do with trains, but even more to do with Atlas Shrugged. I’m certain he would recognize this John Galt quote:“No one’s happiness but my own is in my power to achieve or destroy.”Remember that one when you think of the people who sat in Musi-Café last week.I’m betting Frank W. Bryan also knows these words of wisdom from fantasy man Galt: “I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.”In those early hours of July 6, Lac-Mégantic’s volunteer firefighters risked their lives for the sake of others.Suckers.
27 June 2022
E.T. Cash In
Jude Waples
New York: Avon, 1983
93 pages
Most embarrassing.
I Never Promised You a Rose Garden Michelle Le Grand and Allison Fay Don Mills: Greywood, 1972 |
Frog Fables & Beaver Tales Stanley Burke and Roy Peterson Toronto: J Lewis & Samuel, 1973 |
According to the 26 May 1983 edition of the Ottawa Citizen, Jude Waples was provided the quotations, and found them "scary." "I was careful to make sure none of the quotations weren't used out of context," she told journalist Kathleen Walker.
I'm not convinced, though given current times, I found this one particularly interesting.
Nine years ago, I described P.E.T.: Pierre Elliott Trudeau and his unearthly adventures as the ugliest Canadian book cover of all time. The interior isn't any prettier, though I've experienced far uglier things between the covers.
Perhaps.
There's no way P.E.T. wasn't a rush job. As exploitation product goes, I like it just as much as this strange Montreal MusicWorks single, which somehow went gold in Canada:
Full disclosure: I voted Liberal in 1988. Not sure about 1997.
The Library of Parliament, Library and Archives Canada, Bibliothèque et Archives nationales du Québec, and five of our university libraries hold copies.
19 April 2022
Ten Poems for National Poetry Month, Number 7: 'Dat's Laurier' by William Wilber MacCuaig
Who's dat raise h'all de row 'e can,When 'e's small boy, h'also beeg man,An' gets dere firs' mos' h'every tam?Dat's Laurier.Who's dat, when 'e's young lad at school,Was at de top 'es class, no fool.Can fight lak' mischief an' keep cool ?Dat's Laurier.Who's dat when partee LiberalWas all bus' up on N.P. wall'E save dat ship safe trou' it all?Dat's Laurier.When partee Conservateur was run,An' on 'es side got all de fun,Who's dat was firin' off 'es gun?Dat's Laurier.Who's dat, when Boer in h'Africa,Raise beeg hurrah about some law,'E feex 'im wid sodger from Canada?Dat's Laurier.Who's dat, when our good Queen she die,Advise dem people fer to try,Dat young fella—de Prince, so shy?Dat's Laurier.Who's dat, when in politique dey fight.An' knock h'each oder out of sight,Was settle h'everything all right ?Dat's Laurier.Who's dat, when 'e's gone far away,De people's lonesome every day,De crop 's bad, and dere's no hay?Dat's Laurier.Who's dat dey blame for h'everyting.When dere's damp wedder and cole spring,But 'e jus' smiles an' says, "By jing!"—Dat's Laurier.
16 February 2022
On Pierre Poilievre's Bookshelves
What with everything going on in Ottawa these days, my focus on things political has shifted from Parliament Hill to the hot tubs and bouncy castles on Wellington Street, and so it wasn't until yesterday that I found time to watch Pierre Poilievre's three-minute YouTube announcement of his run for
The only volume I recognise on the top centre shelf is Rupert Murdoch's HarperCollins Study Bible (sadly, lacking dust jacket).
The next shelf holds five Dickens novels belonging to the Penguin Clothbound Classics series: Bleak House, Hard Times, Oliver Twist, A Tale of Two Cities, and Great Expectations. PenguinRandomHouse sells these volumes as part of a six-volume set. I wonder what it means that A Christmas Carol is missing.
All in all, it's a curious collection, arranged in a manner that can make sense only to Poilievre himself. Everything seems so neat, so orderly, so tidy, but look carefully and you'll find evidence of a more chaotic fourth row of shelves, all but blocked by his well-polished desktop. As with career politicians, some lean left, but most lean right.
20 September 2021
'The Modern Politician' by Archibald Lampman
Canadian Illustrated News 28 September 1878 |
On the day of the 44th Canadian general election, verse from The Poems of Archibald Lampman (Toronto: Morang, 1900).
THE MODERN POLITICIAN
What manner of soul is his to whom high truthIs but the plaything of a feverish hour,A dangling ladder to the ghost of power!Gone are the grandeurs of the world's iron youth,When kings were mighty, being made by swords.Now comes the transit age, the age of brass,When clowns into the vacant empires pass,Blinding the multitude with specious words.To them faith, kinship, truth and verity,Man's sacred rights and very holiest thing,Are but the counters at a desperate play,Flippant and reckless what the end may be,So that they glitter, each his little day,The little mimic of a vanished king.
16 September 2021
Robert Fife Discovers a Five-Year-Old Book
You'd think Robert Fife might know a thing or two about the publishing world. His first book, A Capital Scandal, co-authored by John Warren, was a lead title in Key Porter's fall 1991 catalogue. Fife went solo two years later with Kim Campbell: The Making of a Politician. A slight biography published by HarperCollins, it managed to land on bookstore shelves before her 132 days as prime minister were up. I consider this Fife's greatest accomplishment to date.
Bob hasn't published a book since, but he must surely remember something of his experiences with Key Porter and HarperCollins — which makes the front page of Tuesday's Globe & Mail so curious.
I don't know about Fife, but most of the contracts I've signed have given publishers permission to sell foreign rights and translations of my writing. If successful, we both get a cut. Seems fair.
Liberal campaign spokesman Alexandre Deslongchamps says this was the case with HarperCollins adding that the prime minister's share, and all royalties, have been donated to the Canadian Red Cross.
Fife and Chase have no reason to doubt M Deslongchamps' statements, yet they do.
HarperCollins Canada would not discuss the deal for the Chinese publication of the book or whether any money went to Mr. Trudeau’s private holding company, which is in a blind trust. “I’m afraid these things are confidential business terms that are not typically discussed with third parties,” HarperCollins editor Jennifer Lambert said in an e-mail
And so, I know not to ask HarperCollins about the terms negotiated for Kim Campbell: The Making of a Politician.
The real question here is who brought 传奇再续 to Fife and Chase's attention? And why did they wait five years?
* HarperCollins is a subsidiary of News Corp. Yilin Press is distributed in the United States and Canada by Simon & Schuster, a subsidiary of ViacomCBS.
10 February 2020
Erin O'Toole's Proud Disgrace
Yo! Conservative guys and Conservative gals,Jeff Ballingall's is not a household name, not even in households that follow his Ontario Proud, Canada Proud, and BC Proud Facebook pages.
You wanna lead this party, you gotta be like our pals,
You gotta talk into the mike,
You gotta tell us what you're like.
– MP Arnold Viersen, "Conservative Rap" (2017)*
My only interaction with the man came in June 2018. A few days after the Ontario general election, I asked how it was that Ontario Proud, a page dedicated to the defeat of Kathleen Wynne, a page that had raised funds with the expressed purpose of defeating Kathleen Wynne, had then spent that money on attack ads targeting Andrea Horwath.
There was no answer. My query was deleted. I was blocked from posting.
More recently, in response to a Canada Proud post that criticized the treatment of women and gays in Iran, I asked why Proud Facebook pages allowed misogynistic and homophobic comments.
There was no answer. My query was deleted. I was blocked from posting.
Thus far, questions addressed to BC Proud have gone unanswered.
A former Sun News and Conservative Research Group employee, Jeff Ballingall is a man of many hats. In 2016, he founded Mobilize Media Group, an organization not terribly keen on letting you know what they're all about. Ballingall co-owns and is Chief Marketing Officer of The Post Millennial, home to faux-journalists who rewrite news stories from legitimate sources so as to inflame right-wing snowflakes.
This past October, following the Conservative's electoral loss, Ballingall joined fellow Sun News evacuee Kory Teneycke in founding Conservative Victory, a group dedicated to ousting Andrew Scheer as leader. In November, Ballingall was afforded a full hour on the CBC – what his Proud followers refer to as the "Communist Broadcasting Corporation " – to speak out against Scheer. In December, Scheer stepped down. In January, it was announced that Ballingall had joined leadership candidate Erin O'Toole's team. According to the National Post, he has been tasked to "oversee digital strategy."
The effect of this new position on the Ontario Proud, Canada Proud, and BC Proud has been immediate. And I do mean immediate.
With Ballingall onboard, O'Toole's posts have taken on the look and character – half-truths, disinformation, disingenuous editing – of his Proud pages. That the comments they prompt are similar and in some cases identical to those left on those pages is explained by the aforementioned sharing and the use of Mobilize Media Group's database in micro-targetting Facebook ads.
The result is a cesspool made up of lunacy and conspiracy. The prime minister is referred to as both a communist and a Nazi,
ignorance of the human reproductive system and basic English is on display,
Islamophobia runs rampant,
and, as is habit within the Conservative Party of Canada, Justin Trudeau's murder is encouraged.
And on it goes.
Not four months ago, in a Toronto Life interview, Ballingall sniffed: "They stereotype us – they think we’re all bigoted, racist rednecks. We’re not."
Who is "they," I wonder.
Never mind.
I don't believe Proud followers are all bigoted racists, just as I don't believe Erin O'Toole's followers are all bigoted, racist rednecks, though I do recognize that bigoted, racist rednecks exist within their number.
Does Ballingall?
More importantly, does O'Toole?
Why, after all these years, does Ballingall allow these comments? How is it that Erin O'Toole has hired a man who allows these these comments? More to the point, how is it that Erin O'Toole allows these comments?
Last week, on his Facebook page, I accused Erin O'Toole of scaremongering. I went on to suggest that he was soiling his campaign and his reputation.
Erin O'Toole hasn't blocked me. It may be that he's leaving that decision to Jeff Ballingall.
* MP Arnold Viersen's "Conservative Rap", played at the 2017 Conservative leadership convention. Enjoy!
The Poetry of Arnold Viersen